<< Apr 2009 Weird Things I Orgasm Over Tuesday, March 31st, 2009 - 10:23 am
I don't know if this is a girl thing or just a 'me' thing, but when I'm alone and having a bit of me time I very rarely reach orgasm over the sexual act in my fantasies. I know that sounds a little confusing, so let me paint you a picture...
I'm lying in bed, hand between my legs, mentally drawing in all the details of my fantasy. I picture the place, the situation, taking long minutes making sure it's exactly as I want it and then I plan how I'll look, what I'll be wearing. Every piece of clothing, every scrap of lingerie, even the shoes, make-up and hair. By now I'm pretty close, only dragging things out by a well-judged pause every so often. I'm still focused on the build-up to things... what he'll think when he sees me, how we'll get into a compromising situation, how he'll start to remove my clothes, or make me remove them for him, how I'll look standing there in my slutty underwear how he'll put his hand...there and...
I'll be so close now that only willpower is stopping my climax and I skip forwards a step, he's inside me, fucking me and I come, the penetration used only as the pin that pops the balloon, as it were, because really the whole orgasm was reached by the details of the fantasy. Sometimes I don't even make it that far. I can remember one occasion when I orgasmed thinking about the perfect dessert, possibly a lemon meringue pie (though I can't be certain, as the memory eludes me somewhat), as I had only got as far as the food when I reached the point of no return. What can I say? The devil is in the details...
The Interrupted Orgasm Monday, March 30th, 2009 - 1:12 pm
Is there anything more frustrating? You can't plan such a thing (and indeed - why *would* you?) nor can it be avoided. A change of pace at the wrong moment, or a mental blip of some kind (a telephone ringing, an oven timer going off, the police banging on the door...) and wham - it's gone.
Even worse is that an interrupted orgasm is not redeemable. It's not like just not orgasming at all - in that situation you just need to do a bit more work and you can get there. An interrupted orgasm is when you reach the very crest of coming, you can feel that tightening in your belly, your feet flex, you experience the first tinglings of it then the interruption occurs and the fireworks just peter out into a pathetic fizzle. You've come just enough to quell the desire to go round again, but not enough to give you that full-body relaxation you were hoping for.
This happened to me last night. Having spent many minutes (a good thirty I'd guess) on getting him all worked up to a fever pitch (and myself along with him I might add) everything was going *very* well, I was building towards a Diwali night in Birmingham level of fireworks and then ... he changed pace and pfft... it was gone. I still feel slightly unsettled and frustrated now, thirteen odd hours later. Is there anything more frustrating, really?
Spring has Sprung Friday, March 20th, 2009 - 4:02 pm
And what a joyous sight it is. Brilliant jewels of flowers popping their little heads up on every bank, trees dusted with a haze of fresh green leaves in bud, the promise of pink blossom, fluffy as soap bubbles or candy floss, on every tree and the sun warm on your skin.
Already glimpses of bare flesh are peeking out - some toes here, a naked shoulder there, a hairy knee just — nope, I won’t look at that! I can't wait for the temperature to creep up enough to go out with bare legs. I love the freedom of it and the danger that a random gust of wind might expose you to all and sundry - what can I say? I’m a risk girl :-D
Today I bought myself lunch out as a springtime treat, then purchased an ice lolly on the way back. It was a Twister, do they have those in the States?
I think I may have been eating it with a little too much relish, a smidgeon too much enthusiasm… possibly even with a hint of fellation, because the looks I got from the men I passed… well, I’m fairly sure they got a feeling of spring, too…
Oopsie Thursday, March 12th, 2009 - 10:57 am
I went AWOL again, didn't I? I'm so sorry, what can I say? Life got in the way. A friend of mine is a playright and I went to see her latest production this weekend just gone. It was on in the centre of London, somewhere I haven't been for a while and I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. I've got used to thinking of myself as more of a country mouse -- finding the big smoke dirty, crowded and slightly intimidating, but this weekend everything changed! London felt vibrant, exciting, full of life and silliness. My role as an author allowed me to sit back a little and observe all the things going on around me and my imagination felt re-vivified, like everything had sprung into intense and vibrant colours!
That's why I haven't been around -- I've been writing again. I've started an anthology of short stories, as well as mentally working on the longer BDSM story I've started... so I hope you'll forgive me, I've been working on things for you to read, but you'll just have to wait. A bit of delayed gratification never hurt anyone.
Hrmm... that might be an idea for a blog topic. Coming soon -- Delayed Gratification and what Emelia thinks of it. Watch this space!
x
~E~
And now for something completely unrelated Friday, March 6th, 2009 - 8:21 am
I am bored with trying to keep my mind to literary or erotic matters. I've been writing hard lately (about 1000 to 2000 words a day) on a new erotic tale and that's using up most of my 'juice', so instead I'm going to tell you a random thing about myself. Here goes.
I have this recurring dream about my teeth falling out. The details vary, but the essence of the dream remains the same – I’m in a public place, lots of people around me when one of my teeth starts to feel a little loose. I probe at it with my tongue, feeling the sharp edge of the tooth root, tasting the salty-flesh taste of my shredded gum. The tooth loosens and falls out and I spit it into my hand, then other teeth start falling into my mouth and I have to spit those, too, an endless cascade of little ivory drops until they spill out of my hands while everybody watches.
When I wake the dream has been so very real that I probe my teeth with my tongue and fingers, certain to find them missing or loose. Relieved that they’re not, I nevertheless spend the day after one of these dreams feeling shaken and upset. I’ve looked up every possible meaning of this dream and apparently it has something to do with self-consciousness. Strange that an erotic author should be self-conscious… perhaps that’s why it comes through in dreams instead of real life?
Multi-tasking your writing Wednesday, March 4th, 2009 - 9:45 am
This is a tricky thing for me, and maybe the title doesn't explain things very well. Let me try to clarify.
At any one time I have multiple stories and fragments of writing bouncing around in my head - the big sex fantasy that needs to be written, a clever twist that you're trying to build a story around, the big long story you're currently embroiled in and rather fed up of, something visual that catches your eye and demands to be set down in cleverly chosen words, the blog you're going to write later that day...
When you combine all that with the everyday minutiae of life (do the laundry, remember to buy some bread, polish shoes, pick up dry cleaning etc) it's no wonder that writing can become something more of a trial than a pleasure. If you're a writer, though, you have no option - you have to write or you feel withered and pointless. So now you have to decide what to write...
Do you allocate each topic in your head 10 minutes and try and get something written on all of them, do you tackle them one at a time, do some every day until it's written and then come back and do the next one, do you do one a day so each day is a different piece of writing? Do you know what? I haven't even decided yet!
I suppose the first one bears the closest resemblance. I started a new story three days ago and have written a little on it each day, whilst also maintaining this blog and a couple of other writing fragments or observations. To do these, though, I have abandoned the big writing project I was in the middle of. It's still in my head, I'm still battling through plot issues and ideas for it, but I just can't face writing any of it at the moment. It doesn't feel fresh and exciting and I'm bored of it. What I'll probably do is write this new one until I get bored of that and then move back to the previous one... unless one of the other stories bouncing around my head gets out. I have a great one about a woman who has an affair without ever touching another man sexually...
Dream A Little Dream Monday, March 2nd, 2009 - 10:02 am
I'm sure I've blogged about dreams before and I'm certain I've blogged about inspiration for writing, but I can't remember whether I talked about how one can cause the other. I can't be bothered to go and look, anyway, so I'll tell you right now that this is what's just happened to me.
The last few nights I've been having some filthy dreams, starting off with one terribly dark and disturbing one (and not in a good way) where some semi-naked woman was asking me to brand her buttocks with a coat hanger (just don't ask, OK?), moving on to one where I was 15 again (which was about 10 years ago now) and sleeping with some really old bloke who was obviously getting off on the illegal aspects of it all (charming I know) and progressing last night to a rather less weird and very much more delicious one where I was being pressed up against a 'fridge and in the position of choosing whether or not to submit to the power-play... I submitted and, I swear to God, woke up with my hand between my legs almost at the point of orgasm - I can't believe I sleep masturbate.
Anyway - I wake up this morning and the images from the dream are still very vivid in my mind. I can't shake them and nor do I want to, it was so sexy. Only one option left and, much as I hate abandoning a story in the middle in order to start another one, that is what I had to do. Now, 1500 words in and only 10am, I'm glad I made that decision -- this new story is sexy as hell and it's giving me the chance to explore some of the implications of power-play that I've been interested in for so long now.
I'll let you know how the writing is going -- it should keep rolling now I've started. Watch this space!
x
~E~
